Arrrrgh!

People on Tumblr are making this difficult for me. It's a happy place, don't come here and start arguing about my opinions. I will hate on whatever I want, thankyouverymuch, and if you don't like that - don't follow me, mmkey?

Jeez, how I dislike people who think they have any business meddling about my posts and/or rants. I shall not think about it further.

Other than that - you might be interested in how I'm doing.

Well, I arrived in London on 23rd with a suitcase, an on-board bag and a horrible, nagging though that I'm supposed to be somewhere else. Macedonia, to be precise. I can't begin to explain how much I miss the place, especially Struga and Ohrid and Lake Ohrid. There's so much beauty and so many wonderful things about it. Also - a lot of trash and cigarettes, but those are minor details. I will always think that Macedonia is a happy place, at least for me.

And here I am in London - with all its dreariness, murkiness and general unwelcoming feeling. I am feeling a little better now, but to be honest I was a complete emo the first few days. No, actually - I am really enjoying being back, I assume it will only get better when school starts. Imagine meeting almost all of the nice people, or at least a few of them. I miss them.

One part about the depressive feeling was the fact that I didn't know where I'll live. I was left with the impossible task of finding a home for three girls only one of them(me) being here. The next one arriving in 4 days, and the last one arriving on 10th of October at the very best. I did try, people, I did try. But have you ever had to do something like this with not only your own limited resources, but also keeping in mind the needs of the other two girls? Negotiating with snooty agents and condescending landlords?

All the time I was calling people on the phone(that alone could make me miserable on the best day - I abhor talking on the phone), I was staying at Orinta's place. She was moving out on 26th, her sister moving in her room and a new person moving in her sister's room. Orinta wouldn't be home most of the time and I felt like a bloody fucking intruder, pardon my French. The people in that house are fantastic, really - but I couldn't shake the feeling that I'm there unwelcome and unwanted and that I'm in everybody's way. I apparently am not one of those people who can stay in other people's places while the owner isn't present and feel comfortable at the same time. And the right house just wouldn't show up - it just wouldn't. I saw a couple, most of the ones which fit the description were already taken, the rest were more expensive than the ad would have me thing, then for about a half of the ads nobody would answer the phone. I like looking for homes, but only if it's not in a hurry and if I am certain about all the limitations and needs of all the future tenants. I can go apartment shopping for an EVS volunteer and I can like it - it's a challenge, sure, but we had some time at that moment. Here the prices are sky-high and the rooms are usually quite horrible. Not necessarily falling apart, but damp, mouldy and smelling of old people. That smell is wicked hard to get out, I can assure you - my grandpa is 90.

So, of course, on the 26th I think - I had to move out of Orinta's and luckily Kwame still lives here. I have him to thank for my sanity, I would probably have had a nervous breakdown without a safe place to stay in. And that is one peaceful apartment.

Anyway - I gave up on the house idea. Stanka informed me that she can only pay the rent starting from whenever it will be when she gets here, I needed a place ASAP - as in, sign agreement, pay rent and deposit, move in at the same day - and Slavka wasn't so much in a hurry because she could always just stay in Mario's place where they'd spent most of the summer. So, we were quite unequal.

Alright, maybe I sound a little hysteric now, but you should've been in my place and you'd understand. I just wanted to go home and never deal with anything ever again, I felt like a kid and I really just wanted mom to take care of everything.

Which wasn't going to happen, because there's a lot of money invested in my London adventures and we simply can't afford it to go to waste. So stay here I shall.

I called an ad for a room here in Hendon, saw it the same day, paid the deposit and secured a room for the 1st of October. I didn't see any other rooms, I didn't call anyone else, I didn't mind that the room is a small square wardrobe with a window and a street view. All I cared about was to have a roof over my head and somewhere to go, and once I had that I could breathe in again.

The rest of the time until 1st I was at Kwame's, I would go about my business in the daytime, stay out too late and come back around 8 or 9, and then stay up way too late dealing with all the FB, Tumblr and email junk I have every day to sort out. I was trying to get my suitcase out of Orinta's house at that time - I went to Kwame's only with my on-board bag, because it's already heavy and I didn't want to have another journey with a 20 kilo suitcase and 10 kilo bag on high heels. After this bright thought I realised that people aren't at home in the Burnt Oak house during the daytime, so every morning came with a message that I could get my suitcase the next day.

Also, I was meeting people, and trying to figure out my schedule and other things which didn't necessarily work out all the time, so I ended up walking a lot.

All the rest is details, and I'm a little too tired to dwell on those, so for now I can inform you that I have almost completely moved in my new room. It has a bed and a wardrobe. And a window sill. And my stuff, which I don't really have a place to put - I wish there were some shelves, or at least a table, but there isn't. I must remember to call the landlord Victor and remind him that he promised to look into the matter. He's quite nice, by the way - I very much approve of my landlord. I hope he won't destroy my good opinion of him by screwing me over with the furniture. I'm really not that ascetic, I need something here. Especially this year - I have so much stuff accumulated from last year. There's still the giantest of bags somewhere in North London waiting for me to go and pick it up. That's where most of my shoes, clothes, books, kitchen things and other important clutter is. I must remember to call Dzidra and ask about a good time to come and get it. And then berg Sudha to take me there. I seriously don't want to carry that thing back here.

Oh, yes, the school schedule thing.

You will probably be interested in that.

I had a nice schedule before, but then I came here and it turned out that they moved my Spanish from Trent Park to Hendon campus(a good thing - Trent Park is beautiful, but 40 minutes by tube and bus away while Hendon is just around a couple of corners). The problem with that is that hey moved my Spanish right on top of my Overseas Field Trip lectures, which apparently means that one of these two will have to go, because they don't seem to be able to shift things about now. Which means that Tunisia will have to go bye bye, because Spanish is a mandatory module - it's in the name of my program after all. Or maybe, just maybe they can move me to another Spanish class or a different level. Hopefully not level 0 again - I refuse to learn how to say my name and how old I am for a whole school year for the third time. So, of Tunisia goes bye bye, that means I'll have saved mom about 600 pounds which is pretty darn much.

Perhaps it will be possible to convince her that I could, no, should take those French classes. 200 a year isn't half bad for this country. And I am quite fond of the language, and some of the people too.

I don't think I will miss Tunisia that much. They go there every year - I don't think I would discover anything radically new(compared to the thousands of MDX students who have written tons of papers on the place for the last n years). It's a win-win, methinks.

So, here's to a place to call home and to learning languages, and to giving up lost causes, and to not letting hating haters screw with my happy place.